Sunnydale, the Way It Should Be: Season One
by Keldin
Summary: There's been rumors for years just what Joss had in store for Xander Harris. Let's see if we can actually do something more than just the token human. Story #1 in the Extreme Makeover, World Edition series.
1. The Harvest Redux

Disclaimer: All Buffy/Angel characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. All Hellsing characters (or, at least, the ones I am using) are derived from the originals, which could possibly be owned by Kouta Hirano, Young King Ours, Shōnen Gahosha, Dark Horse Comics, or Gonzo. Used without permission, and with no intent to assume any kinds of rights over any of the characters.

They are the Three. The weavers of fate, the goddesses of time, the controllers of destiny. They go by many different names, but only a few are known to humans. Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Urðr, Verðandi, and Skuld. Nona, Decima, and Morta. They are the ones who create, craft, and destroy a human's destiny. None may proscribe that which they set in place.

At least, if it weren't for that pesky thing called 'Free Will.' And another thing called 'Chaos.'

* * * *

"Head's up!" Xander shouted, gaining a chuckle from the Vampire Slayer, just before the Vessel, Luke, grabbed her from behind. Xander began to move towards her, but another person drew his attention.

_ Violently kicking a wastebasket, Xander nearly snarled, "I don't like vampires.  
I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good."_

Jesse growled, irritated by the struggles of Sunnydale's Queen Bitch. He grabbed both her arms and yelled, showing that irritation, "Hold still! You're not making this easy!"

_ "The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their  
blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit  
another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing  
their blood with others to make more of their kind."_

And then Xander was there, stake in hand. "Jesse, man! Don't make me do it."

The vampire attempting to assault Cordelia Chase turned to look up at the other. "Buddy!"

"Jesse!" Xander called, hope in his voice. "I know there's still a part of you in there. C'mon..."

Jesse released Cordelia and jumped up. "Okay... Let's deal with this. Jesse was an excruciating loser who couldn't get a date with anyone in the sighted community! Look at me. I'm a new man!" Grabbing Xander by the jacket, the vampire shoved him against the wall. Xander's stake is left pointed at Jesse's chest.

"Oooo! All right. Put me out of my misery," Jesse said with a smirk, then added. "You don't have the guts."

_ "You listen to me! Jesse is dead! You have to remember that when you see him, you're  
not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him."_

For a moment, Xander looked down, his entire body sagging. Then he looked back up, his face infinitely sad. "I'm sorry, bro. I love you. I'll see you on the other side, 'k?"

With that, Xander shoved the stake forward, hard, into the body of his brother in all but blood. A betrayed look crossed Jesse's face as a fleeing girl ran past the two of them. He dissolved into ash and Xander fell to his feet, then to his knees, his hands coming up to cover his eyes as he bowed his head. Before more than two teardrops can fall, Xander is grabbed by two other vampires.

_At least Cordelia got away safe,_ he thought to himself.

* * * *

"You forget, metal can't hurt me," Luke, the Vessel, sneered at the tiny Vampire Slayer.

"There's something you forgot about too! Sunrise!" Like a champion javelin thrower, Buffy threw the microphone stand through the window behind Luke. A bright light shined from beyond, and Luke threw up an arm to shield his face with his hands, expecting to be burned. Buffy lunged at him with a stake and drove it home.

"It's in about nine hours, moron!"

Standing behind some crates as the rest of the vampires flee the glare of the angry Slayer, Angel stared at the scene. "She did it! I'll be damned!" He walked away as Buffy hopped down to the floor, and Giles and Willow came to meet her.

"I take it it's over," Giles said.

"Did we win?" Willow added.

"No, we lost," Xander whispered, too quietly to even be heard by the Slayer.

Buffy shrugged, "Well, we averted the Apocalypse. I give us points for that."

Straightening up, Xander sighed and said, "One thing's for sure: nothing's ever gonna be the same."

To that, he only got weary nods. Their goodbyes and good nights were quiet, each distracted by their own thoughts.

They all had a lot to think about.

* * * *

Sunnydale Police Headquarters

Same Time

The woman in the mid-thigh-length blue skirt stepped out of the Police Commissioner's Office and looked around. She had shoulder-length spiky blonde hair and eyes of the oddest color - dark red. She looked around, and stepped over towards a detective who appeared to be loitering.

"Are you Detective Stein?" the woman asked in a soft British accent. She seemed young, almost too young to be who he thought she was.

"Paul," he responded with a nod. "You my new trainee?"

And she nodded back. "You can call me Vicky, if you like."


	2. The Harvest Redux, Part Deux

Disclaimer: All Bufy/Angel characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. All Hellsing characters (or, at least, the ones I am using) are derived from the originals, which could possibly be owned by Kouta Hirano, Young King Ours, Shōnen Gahosha, Dark Horse Comics, or Gonzo. Used without permission, and with no intent to assume any kinds of rights over any of the characters.

Noone saw Xander for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday morning came bright and early, but Xander was already awake. In point of fact, he'd never fallen asleep. He just lay in his bed, hands folded under his head, staring up at the ceiling. His pillowcase clung to his face, damp with the tears that flowed down the sophomore's face through the night.

In his mind, Xander repeated the same image over and over again. He shoved a stake into his best friend's heart. Jesse's betrayed look. Him crumbling to ash. Over and over and over and over again, it filtered through his head, only interrupted by other scenes. Bad ones. All the times that he betrayed his best friend in even the smallest of ways. Snatching the last piece of pizza when he knew that Jesse would have wanted it ('cause man, could that guy **eat**). Telling fibs to Willow that made her hate Jesse (for all of five minutes) when they were seven. Taunting him about his crush on Cordelia when they were thirteen... and then telling Cordelia that Jesse had that crush on her.

Kids could be cruel.

And now he'd never have a chance to apologize, to make up for it.

Xander never came downstairs for food, starving himself because he thought he deserved it. His parents never noticed, too busy drinking themselves into a stupor.

Sometime during the day, he fell asleep, the exhaustion catching up him. He was out for the rest of the night.

Early Sunday morning, when Xander awoke, the first thing he noticed was that he was hungry. That wasn't unexpected, of course, considering he hadn't eaten in more than a day. He went downstairs and made himself something to eat, passing his father who was passed out in his reclining chair, snoring loudly. He made a minimal effort, which resolved to a series of peanut butter and... bread sandwiches. They were out of jelly.

At 7:45 in the morning, Xander stepped out of his house wearing a formal suit. He walked down Main Street until he reached his family church, Trinity Episcopal. He was just a bit early for morning services, so he took a few minutes to kneel at his pew to prepare.

When the service was over, Xander didn't remember any of it. He'd been on automatic the whole time, standing, sitting, singing, praying, and listening to the organ. But none of the words penetrated. He turned and headed back towards his house, not noticing the vestmented clergyman following him with his eyes, a look of understanding on his face.

Sunnydale's clergy were, unfortunately, all too familiar with the dazed kind of look that Xander has on his face.

When Xander opened the door to his house, he was immediately accosted by his father. "Where have you been, boy?!"

"I went to church," he muttered, head down, hair covering his facial features. Tony Harris backed off. Xander didn't notice. He just went back up to his room and changed out of his clothes.

An unknown time later, Xander found himself staring at his image in the bathroom mirror. He didn't recall how long he'd been there, but some part of him was demanding that he notice. Even as he watched - like watching from outside his body - his facial features firmed up into determination. He refused to keep wasting his life away like this, even if it had been only a couple of days.

Ten minutes later, he was out of the house, having bypassed his parents without telling them anything (again) and on his way to a place he wasn't known for going to.

The library.

No, not the one in the high school, but the Sunnydale Public library. Oh, how Willow would laugh if she ever found out he went in there of his own free will!

So he never told her. Xander never told Willow that there were many times when he went to the library, mostly to read (or reread) old comic books or science fiction by authors like Asimov, Bradbury or Heinlein, or even funny books like those by Douglas Adams.

But this time, it wasn't for any of those things. The library was a place he could go when he had to get out of the house, but couldn't go to Willow's, or Jesse's, and he was too bored to spend it in one of his many hiding places around town. But this time, it wasn't for that either.

Xander made a beeline straight for the newspaper section, grabbing a pencil and something to write on, and began going through the microfiche archives.

Several hours later, he returned home, exhausted again. But it was a good exhausted.

* * * *

"Yes," came the female British voice as Xander arrived at the doors to the High School library. That caused him to hesitate, only to hear her continue. "I'm here to act as a liaison between the Slayer and the Hellsing Organization."

Xander pushed his way past the swinging library doors, which, of course, resulted in both the people talking going silent. Giles and the young woman were standing in the middle of the room, and Xander's eyes were immediately attracted to two points on that latter form. He circled the woman, her eyes following him, before he got control of himself and yanked his head up to meet her eyes. Her red eyes. And not from being bloodshot either.

"Oh, don't mind me," he finally said. "I already know about the Slayer, so it's no secret you need to keep from me."

You know, when you really need a distraction from the throes of grief, a girl with red eyes, blonde hair, a great rear end, and long, **long** legs only covered to mid-thigh is a fantastic way to do it. And that's not even mentioning the best part. It's especially effective when you're almost sixteen years old and think about sex every seven seconds or so.

The bell rang, announcing that classes would be starting soon, so Xander was forced to get up, borrowing a book to cover a rather... unfortunate reaction. Just as he cleared the room, he looked back... and he could have sworn he saw a grin on the woman's face.

* * * *

Cordelia was talking to her hangers-on, and they were, true to their role, hanging on her every word. "Well, I heard it was rival gangs. You know, fighting for turf? But all I can tell you is they were an ugly way of looking. And Buffy, like, knew them! Which is just too weird. I mean, I don't even rem..."

Xander moved away from where he'd been standing by Buffy and Willow to put himself in the way of Sunnydale High's Queen Bitch, forcing her to stop. Normally, this would give Cordelia a chance to criticize Xander's choice of Hawaiian shirt, but he wasn't wearing one today. No. Today he was dressed in black. Black jeans, solid black T-shirt. His hair was as mussed as it usually was, though.

"What is your damage, Harris? Can't you..." But she got no further, because Xander interrupted, his tone angry.

"You think you're so much better than all these others, Cordelia. But you're a sheep, just like them. A high-class sheep, but... no, let me rephrase. You're an **expensive** sheep, but you're a sheep just like the rest."

Xander turned and stalked off. Buffy stared at him. Willow stared at him. But the one with the most shocked look on her face was Cordelia herself.

"Now just wait one minute, Harris!" Cordelia roared, drawing attention from everyone in the hallway as she stomped off after the tall sophomore. She actually ended up having to run to catch him. Xander was taller than she was, and he wasn't shorting his stride in any way.

"Where do you get the balls to say something like that to me?" Cordelia demanded, putting her hand on his shoulder to spin him around.

Xander shook Cordelia's hand off and he continued on his way. In an attempt to get the last word in, Cordelia said, in a taunting voice, "Yeah, that's right, Harris. Go play with your boooooyfriend, McNally. He's..."

Xander turned so fast that Cordelia's further comment ground to a halt. Back with Buffy, Willow froze, and muttered, "_Oh shit_. He's gonna blow sky-high."

Buffy began to move forward, intent on stopping Xander before he did something he'd later regret.

But Xander was a lot closer to his target. He moved straight up to Cordelia. Got right into her face, invading her personal space, and muttered right into her ear. His voice was so low that Buffy only barely heard it, and that only because the entire hallway had gone dead silent.

"Jesse's dead, you bitch. Don't you ever talk about him that way again. You were there when he died. If you weren't a sheep, just following everyone else along, you'd admit that."

Cordelia choked on whatever she had intended to say, her thought processes grinding to a halt. Jesse McNally? Dead? But... but... she'd never given him a chance! She'd enjoyed putting him down and having him follow her around with his nervous puppy attitude. Tears sprang to her eyes unexpectedly, and she found herself back-pedaling to cover it.

Xander turned back around and stomped away. Buffy stopped, unsure what to do.

"Whoa, that was really weird," Harmony said, as she stepped up to Cordelia. For a moment, it looked like the one she followed was about to cry? That didn't make sense, did it?

Cordelia took a deep breath, and turned to Harmony and the rest of the Cordettes, who were also arriving. "Yeah, it was actually kinda...." _sexy_ "... scary." She mock-shuddered and said to the others, "Let's get to class."

_Oh gods,_ she thought to herself. _Did I just think that that loser Xander Harris was kinda sexy? Someone kill me now!_


	3. After the Harvest

Disclaimer: All Buffy/Angel characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. All Hellsing characters (or, at least, the ones I am using) are derived from the originals, which could possibly be owned by Kouta Hirano, Young King Ours, Shōnen Gahosha, Dark Horse Comics, or Gonzo. Used without permission, and with no intent to assume any kinds of rights over any of the characters.

When Buffy walked Willow home, the house was quiet and dark. Buffy couldn't stay; she had to get back home before her mother figured out that the Slayer had left against her wishes, but Willow told her she'd be all right.

None-the-less, the first thing she did was call for her mother, her tone becoming more and more upset and needy as she got no response. Willow knew that her father was at a convention, presenting a paper that he had worked long and hard on before his peers. It was a major coup for such a young Psychiatrist, so Willow didn't really judge him for it. It was just one of many times that she really, really wished that she had her parents when she needed them. Picking her way through the house she found the reason there was no answer, in a note on the refrigerator.

_Called in for an emergency consult on an abused teen in Boston. Dinner inside.  
Love and Kisses,  
Ima_

Tears spilled from the redhead's eyes as she collapsed to her knees, now proven bereft of any kind of support. Curling up on the floor, she allowed herself to cry, horrible wrenching sobs ripping their way out of her throat.

She didn't know how long she lay there, though a glance through the window showed the sky lightening from midnight black to early morning dark blue, before she got up off the kitchen floor. Moving like a zombie, she retreated to her room and climbed into bed with her clothes on, snagging a box of Kleenex on the way.

Half an hour later, the bedroom floor was littered with used tissues, and a soft hiccupping snore came from the bed.

A little more than seven hours later, Willow woke up to see the sun shining into her room. It really wasn't fair that the sun should be so bright when she felt so dismal, but what could she do about it? She cleaned up the tissues from the floor on automatic, much as Xander would pray in church the next day, her programmed habits too ingrained to do otherwise. Her mother would not tolerate a mess. In the living room, she found that she couldn't sit still. She picked up the telephone to call Xander, but the connection wouldn't go through. It said the line was disconnected. Which either meant Xander's parents hadn't paid the bill, or they had pulled the phone out of the wall. Both had happened before, so it wasn't really unusual.

That left her with only one option. She went back upstairs, took a shower and otherwise cleaned herself up. She put on makeup to cover what cleaning couldn't. And then she walked out of the house, locked the door, and headed down the block to knock on another person's door. The door was answered by a woman wearing a long skirt below the knee. This was someone Willow knew.

"Hello, Mrs. Levinson. Is Jon here?"

"No, dear. He's still in shul, but he should be back soon. Do you want to come in?"

Willow winced. She'd have to teach Jonathan to teach his parents not to do that, with what she knew now. It was the least she should do. She and Jonathan were friends. Not like with Jesse and Xander, but friends. It wasn't quite what their parents wanted, but the Rosenbergs and Levinsons should have known better than to try and put together a shidduch when the children themselves were only nine years old.

If Jesse, Willow, and Xander were the Three Musketeers, then Jonathan would have been d'Artagnan. He was their friend, but not their bosom buddy, as it were.

"Okay," she said, finally, stepping past the door, settling to a seat at the Levinson kitchen table. She absently watched as Jonathan's mother collected a set of stuffed sausages still in their skins from the slow-cooker she was hovered over. She carefully sliced the sausage and then placed it back in the cooker so that it would stay warm.

"Cholent and kishke, huh?" Willow said, her stomach making an embarrassing gurgle at the mention of food. Willow began to turn about as red as her hair.

"As usual, dear," Jonathan's mother said. "Did you want to stay for lunch?"

Willow shook her head quickly, "No, no, that's okay. I have food back at the house." By this time, her cheeks were in high color. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me there."

"It's nothing to apologize for. I consider it a compliment, Willow. Really, you **must** sta..."

"Mom, we're home!" came Jonathan's call from the front of the house, followed by the thundering sound of a teenager headed upstairs to change clothes. The doorway from the rest of the house was soon filled with the presence of Jonathan's father, who stepped into the room to give his wife a hug and kiss. "Good shabbos, hon," he said, before he noticed Willow, who was carefully looking away. "And good shabbos to you too, little Bina."

"Daaaaaaaaad," came Jonathan's voice as he entered the room. "You don't need to embarrass her like that." He rolled his eyes and looked over at the redhead, "Hiya, Willow. Whatcha doin' he..." His voice trailed off for a moment, taking in Willow's slightly puffy red eyes, and he frowned. Then he snapped his fingers and turned back to his parents. "Aw man, I completely forgot I was supposed to go to Willow's place today. Is it okay if we go?"

"Sure, son," Jonathan's father responded. "Be back in time for minchah, though."

"All right, dad," Jonathan said, offering his hand to the redhead. "Let's go, Willow."

They were quiet for the entire walk back to Willow's house, though she never let go of his hand, something that was very unusual. Jonathan was getting more and more worried, but he knew Willow wouldn't break down in public. Once they were inside, though, he turned on her, as she leaned against the closed door. "All right, Willow. What happened? Why have you been crying?" He didn't know what he would do; he wasn't very strong, so he couldn't go beat anyone up or anything like that.

Willow slowly lifted her head back up, her hair still covering most of her face. Then she launched herself at Jonathan so hard that he barely managed to remain standing. She babbled. "Oh,it''sDEAD!" She took a deep breath, apparently intending to continue.

Now, Jonathan wasn't quite as proficient at Willow-babble as Xander and Jesse were; the three of them spent a lot more time together than Jonathan did with any of them. But he picked out Jesse's and Xander's names, and a couple other words that made no sense at all... until he got to the last. "**WHAT?!**" he almost shrieked, pushing Willow away to stand at arm's length. "Wait, Willow, slow down. You didn't just say what I thought you said, did you? You didn't say that Jesse was... he was dead?"

Willow was sniffling and looking away, but then she nodded her head. Jonathan paled, his arms dropping to his sides, and he turned away, stumbling until he managed to end up in one of the living room chairs.

"How? What? **Why?!**"

"You'll never believe it. You'll think I'm crazy," Willow said, having slumped against the front door once more.

"Of course I'll believe you. And I already know you're crazy," he said, taking a stab at levity. It fell flat, but Willow gave him a mirthless smile anyway.

"No, you won't. Not this. This is too unbelievable without backup. But... right now, right now, I need someone to be here with me. I wouldn't have bothered you about this..."

"It's not a bother. I'm your friend. That's what friends are for."

"... but Xander's phone service is out again. Hisparents probablyforgottopay the phonebill again." Willow was ramping back up into 'babble' speed again, but she caught it and took a few large breaths to get it under control. "If you really want... need to know, then come to the school library after classes on Monday."

Jonathan nodded, "Okay." He stayed with Willow the rest of the day. He missed both minchah and maariv, calling his parents afterwards to tell him that he'd lost track of time. He got yelled at, but, comparatively speaking, it was a minor thing.

* * * *

Sunnydale High School

Lunchroom

Noon

"And, on today's menu.... pig slop!" Xander said, theatrically. "Oh wait, sorry. That's just the gravy, isn't it?" He smiled toothily at the put-upon expression on the lunchlady's face. What was she gonna do? Poison them? The food would probably taste better!

Xander took his tray towards the far corner of the lunchroom, where Buffy and Willow were both already sitting, heads bent over something... ah, looked like The Math. Xander feared The Math, but he'd sit with them anyway. He didn't really notice how the crowd opened up to let him pass, whispers of the raging argument he'd had with Cordelia earlier causing a shift in reaction to him. He just settled down and put on a false smile. "So, how are the two most lovely ladies of Sunnydale High today?"

Willow looked up, her own smile hovering on her face as she got ready to reply. Then her eyes shifted to a position behind Xander, and she blanched. Xander began to turn to look when someone grabbed his ear and pulled hard.

"Harris, you're coming with me. Now!" Cordelia Chase continued to pull on Xander's ear.

Xander didn't really have a choice: either he could follow or he'd get his ear pulled off. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Oh come on, you big sissy man. I'm not hurting you that much!" With that, Cordelia dragged him past the doors and down the hallway. For a moment, she slowed as they passed the Janitor's closet. 'Too small,' she thought to herself.

They reached one of the deserted classrooms, and Cordelia dragged him inside, releasing his ear so she could lock the door.

Finally, Cordelia turned so that her back was to the door, and that's when the most alarming thing yet happened: she slumped and leaned backward, her entire attitude shifting. Xander's jaw dropped open.

Because he was no longer faced with Queen Cordelia Chase, Sunnydale High Rich Bitch, but an entirely different person. It was still Cordelia, of course, but she looked tired, and like she was barely holding things together. "Tell me what happened," she said.

"Bwah, bwah, bwah..." Xander responded, semi-panicked.

"Try using English instead of your own geek language," Cordelia responded, Queen C resurfacing for a bare moment. "Tell me what happened to Jesse."

Xander's anger surged, giving him some semblance of control back. "What do you care?! You hated Jesse with all your guts!"

Cordelia's own anger popped up there. "What kind of monster do you take me for?" When Xander opened his mouth to give a smart-ass answer, she added, "Don't answer that. Of course I care, damn it! We may not be in the same social circles, we may not be friends, but we all grew up together. This is a tiny town, Xander. What affects one person affects another. And... and..."

And then another alarming change happened. Her anger ebbed, and her tired look grew almost painful to see. "And now I'll never get a chance to know if there really was anything beyond the boy beyond that I liked to tease him. You don't think I'll regret that? You don't think that hurts in ways I don't even want to think about? Well, you've got another think coming, Mister. Now, you tell me what happened to him. I'm not letting you go until you do."

"You really think you could stop me?" Xander said, glancing at the door.

"I really think you're too much of a gentleman to get physical with a lady when talking would be enough," Cordelia replied, promptly.

Xander was flummoxed. There was no way he could successfully argue with that. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally said, "I don't know where to start."

Cordelia could practically feel Xander's anger ebbing away, leaving only the heart-bottoming sadness welling up from him in waves. In those few classes that they shared, he'd been feeling angry - a simmering anger that had made everyone, including most of the teachers, avoid him. But now, all there was was a person in pain, and it was all Cordelia could do to not burst into tears herself.

"I can't tell you what happened to him here," Xander finally said. "It's too crazy. You won't understand without backup. But there's one thing you have to know. That thing at the Bronze, that thing that grabbed you, it wasn't Jesse. It was just a monster using his face. You have to believe me." He looked up at her, only for his eyes to widen when he saw her shaking.

"I... I... I thought that was just a dream. Just a terrible, awful nightmare. Tell me it was a nightmare, Xander. Please tell me that I don't really remember Jesse McNally about to rape me."

Xander was up and out of his seat in less than a second, pulling the trembling Cordelia into his arms. "No, Cordelia. You don't really remember Jesse McNally about to rape you." In his mind, he added, 'What he intended to do was probably a lot worse.'

He stroked Cordelia's hair, trying to comfort her. At least half of him did not believe what he was doing at all. He was the treasurer of the We Hate Cordelia Club, after all. But all he saw was a woman in pain, and he had to react. He couldn't NOT react. A mirthless part of him thought that Jesse was probably laughing his head off, up in Heaven. Well, either that or growling at him for 'getting' his girl.

Outside the door, Buffy Summers tilted her head slightly, letting her Slayer hearing do the work. She smiled faintly. _Even against his greatest enemy, Xander Harris is a sucker for a woman in pain,_ she thought to herself. _I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, really. It's definitely kind of sweet, though._

"Is he all right?" Willow asked. Buffy'd explained that she'd be able to hear them and they wouldn't be any the wiser.

"I think he is. Or will be. I think both of them will be," Buffy said with a nod, drawing a confused look from her redheaded compatriot. "Let's leave them be for now. We'll see them later, in class." She walked off, taking Willow in tow.

It took almost the entire lunch period for Cordelia to calm down. Not long after Buffy and Willow stepped away, she put her arms around Xander as well, her shudders beginning to subside. _Why do I feel so... so... __**safe**__ in Xander's arms. All we ever do is argue with each other. I don't even know why he's __doing this. I don't know why I'm doing it. But I'm not going to lie to myself. I do feel safe._

"So, if you can't tell me here," she said, her chin on Xander's shoulder. "Where can you tell me?"

For a moment, Xander could have sworn he heard Jesse's voice say in his head, 'Oh, the Janitor's closet seems like a good place.' He shook that off for a moment, attributing it to the current situation and how Jesse had always followed Cordelia around like a 'faithful puppy,' as Cordy had called it.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked. "Because, once you do, there's no going back. And it's not something you can talk with the rest of your Cordettes and the like about."

"I want to... no, I need to know," Cordelia responded, half-reluctantly releasing the King Geek.

Xander rocked back on his heels, looking into the other brunette's eyes, as if trying to divine her seriousness despite what she said.

Finally, he nodded. "Come to the school library after classes. We'll take it from there." He moved to the door, unlocked it, and stepped through, just as the bell rang announcing the end of the period (and the start of the next one). "Ooooh, man...! I didn't get a chance to eat!" could be heard echoing back into the room.

Cordelia actually laughed a little hysterically at that, wrapping her arms around herself in an effort to either retain some of Xander's body warmth, or give herself enough time to let Queen C rise back to the fore. By the time she stepped out the door, noone would have known that anything would have happened to her.

Author's Notes: 'Ima' is the Hebrew word for 'mother'. 'Shul' is Yiddish for 'synagogue.' 'Shidduch' is a Hebrew word for the system of Jewish matchmaking. In short, the Rosenbergs and Levinsons tried to play matchmaker for their kids when they were nine years old. 'Minchah' is the afternoon prayer (which is usually actually done closer to early evening). 'Maariv' is the evening/night service. (And, even though it isn't mentioned, the morning service is 'Shacharis'.)

The fact that Xander attended Willow's Bat Mitzvah means at least two things: one, there is a synagogue in Sunnydale, and two, that Willow has a Hebrew name. The latter is because the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is about recognizing a Jewish child as responsible for their own actions. Amongst other things, they are called upon by their Hebrew name.

In Judaism, the selection of a Hebrew name is one of the most important decisions new parents can make. It is taught that a person's Hebrew name has an influence ON that person.

I've chosen the name 'Bina Keila' for Willow. 'Bina' means understanding, intelligence, wisdom, and I think it's obvious why I chose that for Willow. 'Keila' is a Yiddish word derived from the Hebrew 'Keli,' which means 'vessel'. A talented person is often called that - Keli - a complete vessel, capable of performing great things.

Oh, and don't assume that just because Jonathan's mother looks like 'one of the good ones' that she didn't contribute to exactly what he was like in the series. I know more than my share of Jewish mothers, and there's an ugly side to even that: they're usually experts on guilt!

Also: Here are some descriptions of Cholent and Kishke, a couple of traditional Eastern European/Jewish Sabbath foods:

.org/wiki/Cholent

.org/wiki/Kishka_(food)


	4. After the Harvest, Part Deux

Disclaimer: All Buffy/Angel characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. All Hellsing characters (or, at least, the ones I am using) are derived from the originals, which could possibly be owned by Kouta Hirano, Young King Ours, Shōnen Gahosha, Dark Horse Comics, or Gonzo. Used without permission, and with no intent to assume any kinds of rights over any of the characters.

Xander's last class of the day on Mondays wasn't. A class, that is. Xander had arranged it, when picking out his classes, so that he could get out early on Mondays, mostly because the day it sucked most to be in school **was** on Monday.

It didn't really change things, since he usually waited for Willow to get out of her classes before doing anything in particular. It just gave him a bit of extra free time to read comic books, sleep, or even occasionally do homework. Not so this Monday. Buffy had the same Monday schedule, at least as regarded this, so Xander went to the library with her. To read comic books, sleep, or even occasionally do homework.

Today, he wasn't doing any of those things. He was watching Buffy and Giles spar. At least part of it was because watching a pretty girl get sweaty was fun for him. But then, it would be for any red-blooded American male. Or even for most likely any male in general.

But he also had an ulterior motive today, spurred on by what had happened at lunch. He'd managed to get some snacks out of the vending machine, in order to make sure that his stomach noises didn't interrupt class too much, and he made it all the way through. But he **wanted** Buffy and Giles tired so that they'd object less.

Too bad he didn't know two things. First, that it was highly unlikely that Buffy would be tired, though if he'd had a bit more experience with the Slayer, he'd have known that. Secondly, Buffy had been outside the door when Xander had been consoling Cordelia, so she knew more than he thought about what was going on. Too bad he didn't know. He wouldn't have worried so much. Or possibly would have worried a great deal more.

"I have something I need to talk to you guys about," Xander said, tossing Buffy and Giles each a towel. "Well, some things, really."

Giles groaned as he settled into a chair after his brief cooldown. "What is it, Xander?"

"I asked someone to come by after classes, for the whole 'world is older than you know' speech," Xander said. "Just to start with the bad news and all."

Giles stared at Xander for several long moments, looking somewhere between angry and disappointed. "This isn't gossip, you know."

Buffy, for her part, didn't say anything. She didn't even look surprised.

"I know it's not gossip," Xander said. "But she needs to know."

"Cordelia, right?" Buffy asked, her tone neutral.

Giles looked over, surprised, and Xander did a double-take. "Um, yeah. She... she was there when Jesse, when I killed him."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, I'd gotten that."

Giles, for his part, was looking back and forth between the two teenagers like he was watching a tennis match.

"Huh?" Xander asked, succinctly.

"Willow and I came out after Cordelia dragged you out of the lunchroom. We were standing outside the door."

Xander blinked, confused. "And...?"

"Oh, that's right. You weren't there for that," Buffy said, mostly to herself. "The Slayer package comes with more than just speed and strength. I get excellent sight and hearing as well. I heard you through the door."

Giles couldn't help but break in here. "You're awfully calm about this, Buffy."

Xander was surprised as well. "Um... okay."

"I wasn't there for this part, though," Buffy clarified, then explained for Giles. "Cordelia dragged him out of there by his ear. We just wanted to make sure he was all right."

"Yeah. Um..." Xander said. "You have to understand that Jesse'd had a crush on Cordelia for years. And she knew about it." _Because I told her._ "But she never really gave him the time of day, other than teasing him. Even seemed to enjoy doing it. So, when Jesse was turned into a vampire, well... when we found him at the Bronze, he was getting ready to carry her off, probably to turn her as well. Or just kill her. I really don't know."

Xander sighed. "I don't want her last memory of Jesse be him attacking her. I may not like her much, but she doesn't deserve that. And Jesse doesn't deserve to have that stain on his memory either. It smacks of speaking ill of the dead. Just the wrong thing to do."

Giles stared through his glasses for several moments. "And you believe Miss Chase can, as you Americans say, 'handle the truth'? And keep it appropriately secret? Having this information spread about would make protecting the Hellmouth exceedingly difficult."

"I think she can handle it," Xander said. "And way to go, Mister Giles, on the culture reference." Giles only stared back at Xander, confused. "But she was there when I destroyed Jesse, and I'm pretty sure she saw him go to dust. I don't think she'll have much choice in the matter. And I already told her that she can't talk about it with anyone. I even told her that once she knew this, there was no going back. She told me that, even if that was the case, she still needed to know."

He hesitated for a few moments, "Plus, I think there are some things that she might be able to do for us. Things that pretty much only she can do. Or, at least, that she can do most easily."

"Oh?" Giles asked. "And what are those?"

"I think I'd like to discuss it with everyone at the same time," Xander said. "I don't think it will be difficult for her to do either one and might be a very good thing overall. For everyone. Even those who don't know about vampires and all that."

Xander sighed, and sat back, "There were some other things I wanted to talk to you about too. Could you sit, Buff?"

Buffy shrugged and, hanging the towel across her shoulders, she settled to a seat beside Giles, who looked rather curious himself.

Xander, for his part, got up out of his chair and began to pace. Finally, he started to talk. "I spent a lot of time this past weekend thinking. Y'know how we said that nothing's ever going to be the same? Well, I've decided that, even if the way everyone else acts negates that theory, it is going to be true for me."

"I think I need to start growing up a little," Xander said, after another introspective moment. "It's all well-and-good, hanging with Jesse, Wills, and Jono, and now with you guys. Hell, it's usually even fun arguing with Cordelia. But now I know there's more to life out there. Or unlife. And I can't ignore it."

Buffy frowned slightly, not recognizing one of those names, but didn't say anything about it. She could always ask later.

He returned to his seat and sat down, but his leg continued to bounce, showing his nervousness about this. "Buff, I want you to make me a promise. Promise that you'll never pull that 'Me Slayer, You Jane' stuff on me again."

Buffy opened her mouth, "But..."

Xander held up a finger and shook it. "Let me finish. See, I know why you did it. It's your duty and you don't want anyone else to have to be in danger. I know that, and it makes me love you all the more for it. You care. You can't help it."

Though Xander didn't really notice exactly what he was saying, Buffy did. And she blushed. It wasn't like she had that many guys (that weren't in her family) tell her they loved her, after all, at least not and apparently mean it. Even if how they meant it was in the way of loving your friends. It was... nice.

"First of all, there's the whole 'making me feel like less than a man thing.' That's not so important, though, to me, it does obviously have an effect. Except, you know, teenager thing. The thing is, now that I know about this side of the world, I can't just let it go. I **won't**. I have to find a way to help, and I know me. I'm no good on the research side." He clarified. "Oh, I can do it, sure, but Wills is always gonna be much better at it than I am. She's a lot more with the books and all than I am. It's just not as much in my nature, and I think you can understand that." To which Buffy nodded.

"Which brings me to the next part," Xander continued. "Giles, I want you to train me."

Giles responded, immediately flustered, "My duty is to train Buffy, as the Slayer..."

"Who, as the Slayer, is faster than you, stronger than you, and picks up weapon skills insanely quickly," Xander said, as Buffy blushed again, this time in embarrassment. "I was watching while you were sparring, and you haven't known each other very long. Soon enough, she will know pretty much everything you can teach her regarding weapons and unarmed fighting."

"I want you to teach me in addition to her. I'm not anywhere near as likely to pick up on things so fast. So training me grants you several benefits. You potentially gain another fighter-type who can watch Buffy's back when you can't. You better your own skills as well, because even **I** have heard that old adage about how teaching something helps you learn it. And it keeps you in fighting trim. Buffy beating on you, Buffy picking up on weapons so fast that you have to keep switching to new ones for her, those will all, eventually cause your own skills to get worse. Like if you were getting spoiled. Or doing a half-assed job at your own workout."

Xander grinned at the flummoxed looks on the other two people in the room, "I **did** say that I did a lot of thinking, and one of those things I thought about was trying to figure out what arguments you'd make against this. I even had to decide which one of you I was going to ask to train me. I decided to ask you, Giles, because asking Buffy has a whole bunch of disadvantages and only one real advantage. Though it is a major one."

"Oh? What is that?" Buffy asked, and then groaned as Xander's grin turned absolutely wicked. "I just stepped into something, didn't I?" she asked, nose wrinkling cutely (at least as far as Xander was concerned).

He nodded, and said, "I could, maybe, convince you to put your hands all over me to 'correct my stance,' as it were," Xander said, mock-leering at the Slayer. She couldn't help it. She laughed.

"And, the final thing is...," Xander said, turning serious again. "... if you won't train me, I'll just find someone else to do it." He looked from Giles to Buffy. "If you do try to push me out and keep me away from this, I'll go after the vamps on my own." He stopped her once again before her protests could begin; he could see them coming. "Let me explain how I see it. You see, in my life up until last week, I basically had two bright shining things in my life. School is just a waste of my time. My family life isn't anything to write home about. So all I had are Wills and Jesse. The vamps, they took one of them away. Took and perverted it. I don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again."

He sighed quietly. "Don't get me wrong. I don't think I can kill all of them, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to try. Even if I only end up getting one, and the second kills me in the process, that is that many people saved. Heck, even if all I manage to do is slow down the one that kills me long enough for someone else to take it out, it helps."

He added, "Besides, the thing is, I don't think that I'm the only one out there. Normal humans going after the vamps, I mean."

Both Buffy and Giles blinked at that. "Huh? What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Well, with the information I have so far, it just doesn't make sense. If there's only ever been the Slayer as the one who can fight the vampires and demons of the world, and the vampires have to feed with the frequency that they seem to here, why hasn't the world been overrun? Even if vampires only turned one person out of every hundred they killed, there would be so many of them that there's no way the world would not know about them. The Slayer can only be in one place, after all, and I'm sure that not every evil demon, vampire or not, is here in Sunnydale. If it was, I'd strongly recommend just evacuating all of the non-demons and nuking the place from orbit."

"And then there's this..." Xander said, as he reached back for his bag and pulled a set of papers out. "I used one of those grid programs on the computer." Willow would call it a spreadsheet. "To figure out what the 'random death' rate has been here in Sunnydale for the last ten years or so, going month by month. By 'random death,' I mean things reported as animal maulings, fork-related accidents, extreme blood loss, basically anything that more than likely meant vampire attacks."

Xander waited for recognition of what the information was, and then went on, "See the two areas I highlighted? Two years ago and eight years ago? How the monthly numbers drop for a month or two, then slowly increase back to 'normal' levels?" Both Buffy and Giles nodded, and Xander continued. "The only thing I can think of that could be responsible for that is someone killing vampires. Since the Slayer is the only one in the world with the speed and strength specifically to kill them, I have to imagine that these guys are normal, like me. Unless those were Slayers passing through, which I doubt."

"You are quite correct. The Slayer has not been assigned here for some time," Giles said, then smiled slyly, "And did you not say not long ago that you were no good at research?"

Xander had the good graces to blush. "Well, yeah, but this stuff was dead easy to find. It's in the newspaper, in the obituary section. I just had to go to the library and look up the old newspapers. That's a lot different than searching through a bunch of books that may not be in English in the first place for something, **anything** that might be useful."

He went on, "So, to me, at least, this points to there being people other than the Slayer who are hunting the creatures of the night out there. There would almost have to be. No. No 'almost' about it. There would have to be. And I want to be one of them. I know it sounds weird, but if someone died because I wasn't able to stop it, I'd feel guilty. And if I wasn't able to stop it because I hadn't made every effort to learn how, I definitely would be guilty, even if only in my own mind. That's what I mean when I say that I can't NOT do anything. I have to try. So I'm coming to you for help."

Giles stood up, using the towel from his spar to dab at his forehead, and paced over to the book/weapon cage. "I'll have to think about this, Xander," he said, after a moment of thought. "And what about Willow?"

"She'd have to make her own decision," Xander replied, with no hesitation. "I hope she'd learn some basic self-defense, at the very least. She would actually probably be easier for you to teach than I would be."

Giles looked around, "Oh? Why do you say that?"

Xander grinned, "'cause Willow and Buff are both girls, with girl parts." He winked at the Slayer, who laughed again. "If nothing else, you'd probably need a different set of protective gear for me to train in. And you were probably taught how to teach the Slayer, who is always a girl. So teaching a guy might not be as easy."

Giles considered Xander for a long moment, turning to look directly at him. "Xander, why don't you use this kind of deductive reasoning in your classes?"

"Do you really want to know?" Xander asked, only to receive a nod. "Truthfully? Classes are boring. Books that have been assigned are even moreso. They say the best way to make books boring is to assign them in class, and it's true. I have experience with that. And, you know, it's like a lot of the teachers just don't care all that much, and if they don't care, why should I? You should sit in on some classes to see what I mean, Giles."

Xander paused, thinking for a moment, "Maybe the only one that does seem to care at all is Doctor Gregory, but his class is still mind-numbingly boring. Gyah. He's been working up to talking about **ants** lately. All I really need to know about ants is how to keep them away from my picnic baskets." The last two words were said Hanna-Barbera-style, drawing an amused smile from the Slayer, who then spoke up.

"Doctor Gregory is kinda great, actually. He's the only one who doesn't care about what happened at Hemery, and still seems to think I can do a good job."

Xander blinked, "What happened at Hemery?"

"I had to burn down the gym," Buffy responded, getting a slightly slack-jawed response from Xander. "It was full of vampires." For a moment, a sad look passed over her face, as it usually did at the memory of her first Watcher.

"Oh," Xander said. "What were they doing, crashing the prom?" He let out a snort.

"Actually? Yeah," Buffy said, a fit of giggles erupting from her at the pole-axed expression on Xander's face.

"Well, I suppose it's better than burning down the gym because you hate the jocks," Xander said with a shrug. "I'll tell you, I've actually thought about that once or twice. So, Buff, how do you feel about this whole thing with telling Cordelia?"

Slumped on the chair, Buffy looked at Xander. "Well, my preference would be not to drag anyone else into this, but Cordelia... well, she's a lot like I was before I was chosen to be the Slayer. I adapted. She can too. But I'm not sure what she might be able to do for us. I can't think of anything that I would have been able to do. But, like you said, it can wait. And now, I have a question for you too. Who's Jono? He's not that guy that leads that band, right?"

"That'd be Bono," Xander said, absent-mindedly. "Jono... that's right, you wouldn't have met him yet. Black hair, short - even shorter than you, if you can believe it." This last came out in a mock-gasp, as if to indicate that Xander never would have believed it was possible.

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed, though her lips were twitching. Maybe that was because of how Xander's eyebrows were waggling at her.

"'cause, y'know, with a name like 'The Slayer,' aren't you supposed to be bigger?" For a moment, Xander contemplated an Amazon version of Buffy, a statuesque Nordic beauty. Then he shook his head to stop himself before he started drooling. "Anyway, he's got a different class schedule than any of us do this year. He's another old friend, though not as old me, Wills, and Jesse are. His family and Willow's family tried to hook them up 'cause they're both Jewish. Didn't work out like they hoped it would."

For his part, Giles was merely watching again, a faint smile gracing his face. _Not quite the way I was taught the Slayer would be, but this one seems to break the mold in many ways, so to speak,_ he thought to himself as he shifted his attention to her dark-haired conversational partner. _I do wonder why he covers so much in these attempts at humor, successful and not, but it is not my place to ask._

"Well, I can see why they'd try, but that's the chance they take," Buffy said. "'course, that could always still change." _Not_, she added in her mind. _She has it __**bad**__ for you, Xander, even if you don't see it at all._

"Nah," Xander said, his tone skeptical, and shook his head. "They're too much like brother-and-sister. Or maybe close cousins. Never happen." He sighed. "I any case, are you okay with the whole Cordelia thing, then? 'cause, barring us having a convenient friendly vampire here to prove it..." And, with that, his voice took a deeply derisive snort. "... the only way to prove we're not insane is to prove that you're the Slayer. Which isn't that hard, really."

Buffy wrinkled her nose again (which, once again, Xander found incredibly cute). "I don't **want** to, obviously, but one goes with the other. I can deal."

"'k," Xander replied with a nod, glancing at his watch. "Then I'll see the two of you a little later? Bell's about to ring." Which it then did. "If I don't get a chance to say it, or I forget... thanks. Not just for this, but for trusting me enough to tell me in the first place." With that, he quit the room, once again braving the terror that was Sunnydale High's hallways.


End file.
